And to close the Chapter in verses 22-33 he gives us instructions on family life and focuses on how husbands and wives in a Christian marriage should act towards each other. The onus being on the husband to lead the way! How to have a Spirit filled marriage.
Note: The verses from Ephesians are in italics, the explanation of the verse/s follows in straight text with additional scriptures shown in bold italics.
1 Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
In verses 1-2 above Paul tells us to follow God’s example or as some Bible versions put it, be imitators of God.
The Greek word for “imitator” in verse one is “mimétés” (pronounced mim-ay-tace' – Strong’s 3402) and from this word we get the English word ‘mimic’. It’s expanded meaning from the Greek word is a follower (of what somebody else does) or to emulate someone who is worthy of following.
In other words, we need be conformed more and more into Christ’s image as we progress on our walk to Christian maturity! Christ is the only person worth following for a Christian.
Romans 8:29 (NKJV)
For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren.
And in verse 2 he instructs us to walk in the way of love (agapé) just as Christ did and be willing to give up our lives for others just as Christ did for us. In other words, we, in true Christlike humility, must put the needs of our brothers and sisters in Christ before our own! This is a true servant heart just as Christ’s is!
John 15:13 (NKJV)
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.
Philippians 2:3 (AMP)
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit [through factional motives, or strife], but with [an attitude of] humility [being neither arrogant nor self-righteous], regard others as more important than yourselves.
Matthew 20:26-28 (NKJV)
26 Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. 27 And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave— 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”
3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. 4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5 For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. 7 Therefore do not be partners with them.
In verses 3-7 above we are instructed on how to live as imitators of Christ which is in stark contrast to the way the majority of unbelievers live. Paul gives us a number of examples of the things that a true born again Christian should not be doing.
These are the examples he mentions in verse 4 that we should not be involved in, in any way:
- Sexual immorality – fornication (sex outside of marriage), homosexuality, adultery, pornography etc.
- Any kind of impurity – immoral, licentious, and lustful living, the cravings of the flesh in any form.
- Greed – the insatiable craving of wanting more and more of ‘things’, including food – gluttony.
- Obscenity – filthiness, baseness, indecency.
- Foolish talk - babbling without saying anything meaningful or just saying silly things.
- Coarse joking – dirty and vulgar joking.
Colossians 3:8 (NIV)
But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (AMP)
Therefore encourage and comfort one another and build up one another, just as you are doing.
Don’t let your tongue become a destructive force or you will be consumed by it!
James 3:5-6 (NIV)
5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
In verses 5-7 of Ephesians 5 Paul warns us that if we are still doing the things he describes in verse 4, we are immoral, impure and greedy and we are thus IDOLATERS! And as such we will not go to heaven but will be consigned to hell for eternity! God’s wrath comes upon these people, and we should have nothing to do with them!
1 John 5:21 (AMP)
Little children (believers, dear ones), guard yourselves from idols—[false teachings, moral compromises, and anything that would take God’s place in your heart].
And in verse 7 of Chapter 5 we are told that we are not even to be partners with such people. To have no close links or affiliations with such people. What has light to do with darkness? We are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
2 Corinthians 6:14-15 (NKJV)
14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?
8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10 and find out what pleases the Lord.
In verses 8-10 above Paul reminds us that we used to live in darkness but now that we have Jesus as our Lord and Saviour, we are now children of the light. Jesus refers to himself as the light of the world and as such we should imitate him and be light in the darkness of the world!
John 8:12 (NIV)
When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
We are told to live as children of the light in other words be imitators of Christ in all we do. We should be allowing the fruit of the light to be evident in us and through us. That is our lifestyle needs to be reflective of Jesus in “all goodness, righteousness and truth”!
And verse 10 commands us to find out what pleases God!
What pleases God? Well, once we are born again, we need to walk in faith for without faith it is impossible to please God!
Hebrews 11:6 (AMP)
But without faith it is impossible to [walk with God and] please Him, for whoever comes [near] to God must [necessarily] believe that God exists and that He rewards those who [earnestly and diligently] seek Him.
What is faith for a born again Christian?
Hebrews 11:1 (AMP)
Now faith is the assurance (title deed, confirmation) of things hoped for (divinely guaranteed), and the evidence of things not seen [the conviction of their reality—faith comprehends as fact what cannot be experienced by the physical senses].
Faith is our assurance or substance of the things we hope for, and as our hope is in Christ Jesus, we are divinely guaranteed to receive all the promises that God has for us, the most significant being everlasting life in Jesus! And what is more all God’s promises for the born again believer are, “Yes and Amen”. We have to believe this by faith! We are to live by faith and not by sight.
2 Corinthians 1:20 (NIV)
For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God.
2 Corinthians 5:7 (AMP)
for we walk by faith, not by sight [living our lives in a manner consistent with our confident belief in God’s promises]—
Romans 8:8-9 (AMP)
8 and those who are in the flesh [living a life that caters to sinful appetites and impulses] cannot please God.
9 However, you are not [living] in the flesh [controlled by the sinful nature] but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God lives in you [directing and guiding you]. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him [and is not a child of God].
In the two verses from Romans 8 above we are told that if we are living in the flesh (our old sinful self) we cannot please God. But if we are living a life that is in the Spirit it is pleasing to God!
I would recommend, my dear Readers, that you study Romans 8 for yourself – it will change your life!
11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13 But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. 14 This is why it is said:
“Wake up, sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”
In verses 11-12 above we are instructed to have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness (sin in any shape or form) but to expose them. It is shameful for us to even talk about what the unbeliever does in secret.
And in verse 13 we are told that when sin is exposed by the light it becomes visible and should be repented from and receive God’s forgiveness which will allow Jesus to shine the light of salvation upon us. The light of Jesus allows us to be reconciled to God!
In verse 14 I believe that the quote “Wake up, sleeper………..”, although not from the Bible, is used to communicate the concept that when we turn from our sins to the Lord, Christ brings us to life and "shines" on us, again connecting us to Jesus as the light of the world.
15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.
In verses 15-17 above Paul encourages us to live our lives very carefully and not as the unbelievers do but as a true believer does – that is in the truth of the Word and our obedience to it (doers of the Word) by the leading of the Holy Spirit. He goes on to tell us not to be foolish but to think about what we do and say by aligning ourselves with the Word of God and the leading of the holy Spirit. In this way we will know what the Lord’s will is.
John 16:12-15 (NIV)
12 “I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. 13 But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. 14 He will glorify me because it is from me that he will receive what he will make known to you. 15 All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will receive from me what he will make known to you.”
James 1:22-25 (NKJV)
22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; 24 for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. 25 But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does.
Romans 5:5-8 (NIV)
5 Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6 The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. 7 The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. 8 Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.
18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
In verse 18 above Paul commands us to be filled with the Holy Spirit. He says, “Be filled with the Spirit,….” This is not a recommendation but an instruction because he knows that without the leading of the Holy Spirit, we will not be overcomers of the flesh and the evil one! Being filled with the Spirit is part and parcel of our spiritual walk to maturity in Christ Jesus and is all part of our sanctification process – a renewing of ourselves by the Holy Spirit that enables us to gradually have victory over our old selves – the flesh!
The command here to “be filled” is in the present continuous tense, therefore it speaks of something that is continuing, not something that happened just once and stopped. It is something on going. To bring out this sense more accurately we could say: “be being filled,” “keep on being filled,” or “continue being filled.”
The “be filled with the Spirit” in Ephesians and the Baptism of the Spirit in 1 Corinthians 12 are not the same, though a person is filled with the Spirit when they are baptized by Him.
The Baptism of the Spirit enfolds the believer into Christ’s Body (His Church) and comes at the point of our salvation; it marks that point in which the Spirit indwells the believer. Every person who is saved (born again) was placed into the Body of Christ by the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. All true Christians are crated to drink of the one Spirit. There are no exceptions to this, and it occurs only once at salvation.
1 Corinthians 12:13 (AMP)
For by one [Holy] Spirit we were all baptized into one body, [spiritually transformed—united together] whether Jews or Greeks (Gentiles), slaves or free, and we were all made to drink of one [Holy] Spirit [since the same Holy Spirit fills each life].
In verse 19 Paul gives us two further instructions, firstly we should be speaking to one another with psalms, hymns and songs from the Spirit and secondly to sing and make music from our hearts to the Lord.
Now, why does Paul say we should be speaking to each other in psalms, hymns and songs?
Well, it is my belief that Paul, being a true scholar of the law and the Old Testament as well as being born again, is fully aware of the important role the Psalms played in the life of King David and the other psalm writers. The psalms were sung in the synagogues all the time. There is also the song of Moses sung by Miriam – a song of praise for the great things God has done.
Exodus 15:20 (NIV)
Then Moses and the Israelites sang this song to the Lord:
“I will sing to the Lord,
for he is highly exalted.
Both horse and driver
he has hurled into the sea.
Music to a Christian should be our primary response of joy of our salvation in Christ Jesus and to all the blessings we receive because of it. The Israelites sang after their escape from Egypt. The various Psalmists sing about a wide range of subjects – the majesty of God, His grace and mercy, and His mighty works. Petitions are brought to Him in song, as well as thanksgiving for answered prayer. It has been part of the church from its foundation, and it will be part of our activities in heaven for eternity where we will join in the chorus of praise singing the songs of the Lamb.
Revelation 15:3-4 (NKJV)
3 They sing the song of Moses, the servant of God, and the song of the Lamb, saying:
“Great and marvelous are Your works,
Lord God Almighty!
Just and true are Your ways,
O King of the saints!
4 Who shall not fear You, O Lord, and glorify Your name?
For You alone are holy.
For all nations shall come and worship before You,
For Your judgments have been manifested.”
One of the most thrilling aspects of what Paul says here about music is that there is no mention about the quality of our voices. Every believer is to be involved in this. Even if you cannot carry a tune, you can make music that pleases God because He looks at the heart. That is why the Psalms say on several different occasions to “make a joyful noise unto the Lord.” God’s primary interest is the heart of the person singing as the song is to be a response in the worship of God of a person filled with the Spirit.
Note here as well that songs are also be sung to from one believer to another. The music of believers should be focused on God and is therefore done to build up and edify each other. It is part of our celebration of worship and to God together.
And finally in verse 20, Paul's instructs us to always give thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. We should always come before God in a humble attitude of gratitude!
Instructions for Christian Marriage
From verses 21-33 Paul instructs us (every born again believer) on how we are to conduct ourselves when we are married.
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
In verse 21 Paul starts off by addressing both husbands and wives in saying that we should submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
This is a short but very powerful verse that every Christian as well as husbands and wives need to fully understand and fully embrace and never let go of!
Let’s examine the word ‘submit’. The Greek word for this in the original text is ‘hupotassó’ (pronounced hoop-ot-as'-so, Strong’s 5293) which in itself is made up of two words ‘hupo’, meaning to arrange yourself under or to be under the authority of someone and ‘tasso’ which means to place in a certain order. At the time Paul wrote this letter ‘hupo’ was used primarily as a military term placing someone in a rank, subordinate to a higher rank.
So, from this we are told to submit to one another out of a reverent and deep respect for Christ as He is not only our Lord and Saviour but also the head of the Church. Husbands and wives should have this same respect for each other, not wanting to do any harm to each other in any way.
This submission is a willing submission and not a submission that is born out of ungodly fear and/or manipulation.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
In verses 22-24 above Paul specifically addresses wives. Here he instructs wives to submit themselves to their husbands as they do to the Lord because in the Godly order of things, he is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. Paul goes on to say in verse 24 that as the church submits to Christ so wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
And here I repeat what I said two paragraphs above. This submission is a willing submission and not a submission that is born out of ungodly fear and/or manipulation by the husband. A husband, just as Christ does for the Church, is to provide a Godly and loving environment for his wife and family to enable them to grow in the knowledge and grace of God.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body.
In verses 25-32 Paul turns his attention to specifically addressing husbands.
His first instruction to husbands in verse 25 is to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. This is the agapé love of God that is freely given, is self-sacrificing, expects nothing in return and lasts forever through all circumstances – the good and the bad. You will note that this instruction, to love her as Christ loves the Church, was spoken directly to husbands. Husbands are to set the example of Godly love for the family to follow.
In verse 26 Paul tells us that Christ loved the church in this way to make her (the church) holy and cleansed by the washing of the Word. Husbands are thus charged to ensure this happens with their wives (if they are born again and belong to Jesus), leading their wives by example through the Bible so that both husbands and wives can become holy and blameless before the Lord just as the church should be as described in verse 27.
And in verses 28-29 a husband is instructed to love his wife as he loves his own body and loves himself and ensuring that his wife is cared for in every way just as Christ cares for the His Church as we are on body.
31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
In verse 31 above Paul teaches that as husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the Church a man shall leave his father and mother and will become one flesh with his wife. This means that a man’s wife will now become his main priority in Christ Jesus.
And in verse 32 Paul admits that this marriage union between a husband and wife becoming on flesh is a mystery to him but he knows that a Christian marriage should be a loving relationship and one that reflects the marriage between Christ and the Church and thus ends off this chapter by saying:
33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Paul's final instruction to husbands is to love their wives as they love themselves and to wives to respect their husbands - each one loving each other as Christ loves the Church in the agape love of God!
Prayer:
Dear Father in Heaven
I pray in the name of Jesus that you would fill me with your Holy Spirit and help me to walk in love, to walk in your light and to become an imitator of Jesus in every way. (For those of you that are married). I pray too that you would bless my marriage and help me to become the husband/wife that your Word instructs me to be. I can only do this with your help Lord Jesus! Amen.
Remember: Reading this article is no substitute for reading and studying the Bible for yourself. My word is flawed the Bible is not!
Dear Father in Heaven
I pray in the name of Jesus that you would fill me with your Holy Spirit and help me to walk in love, to walk in your light and to become an imitator of Jesus in every way. (For those of you that are married). I pray too that you would bless my marriage and help me to become the husband/wife that your Word instructs me to be. I can only do this with your help Lord Jesus! Amen.
To Jesus belongs all glory honour and praise!
Jesus the Name above all names!
Remember: Reading this article is no substitute for reading and studying the Bible for yourself. My word is flawed the Bible is not!
